Sick beat, great rhythm in your rhymes and great lyrics. I would just like to hear more “on the table”. Like lean into the feeling and give it some energy. Whatever that energy is. I can feel the edges of it but I think there’s a lot more room there that you can explode into. Not necessarily volume (although it could be)…more vulnerability/attitude/emotion. Let us in more. I feel like I want more of what these rhymes mean through your performance of them.

One interesting exercise is to re-sing/rap the whole thing again at full volume. Almost yelling it the whole way through. Maximum energy, over the top, just ridiculous energy. Just to see where the top is. Then scale it back a few levels and do it again. Keep doing it until you find the level of energy that feels interesting. Sometimes hard to find a place to do it but I always find a car ride is good for some high-energy lyric testing.

As for feedback for the track, I think it’s great. I think don’t get too caught up in what it needs at this point. Just keep creating. Follow what feels right for you. When faced with a decision whether to create more or not, usually pick the create more option… if you don’t like it, just delete it. When you create more, at least you have the choice. It also lets you explore different avenues rather than just imagining what they could be.

Work with some ppl and other singers and that sometimes helps inform decisions about structure. Just follow your gut, it won’t let you down.

Congrats on the first upload, the hardest part is over. Now just keep going 😀